Lum & Abner: Classic Small-Town Comedy

Originally Aired: April 22, 1938
Lum #24, "Lum in Hiding from Birdie,"
Lum finds himself in a predicament of his own making when a woman named Birdie Collins arrives in Pine Ridge expecting to marry him. The trouble began when Abner sent out photographs of Dick Huddleston, Mose Moots, and Ezra Seastrunk to applicants of his Lonesome Heart Matrimonial Bureau without their permission. To keep one particularly eager woman from visiting Dick, Lum impulsively wired her claiming he had fallen in love with her picture and wanted to marry her. When Birdie immediately wired back that she was on her way, Lum panicked and went into hiding.
Now Lum is holed up in a barn loft while Birdie stays at Abner's house, patiently waiting for her intended to return from what she believes is a business trip. Abner attempts to manage the increasingly complicated situation as Birdie settles in, inspects Lum's furniture, and shows no signs of leaving. Meanwhile, Lum desperately tries to devise a plan to send her away, even suggesting he's moved to Alaska, while Lizabeth grows tired of their unwelcome houseguest and the entire town slowly learns of Lum's predicament.

Originally Aired: April 20, 1938
Lum #23, "Lum Patches Things Up," finds Abner in deep trouble after his misguided attempt to run a matrimonial bureau goes disastrously wrong. When Abner sends out photographs of married men including Ezra C. Strunk, Mose Moots, and Dick Huddleston to prospective brides, their wives discover incriminating letters in their husbands' pockets. Mrs. Moots threatens to leave with the children, forcing Abner to confess his scheme to prevent the marriage from falling apart. Now half the town is furious with him, and Abner sits in the Jotten Down Store with Grandpappy Spears, wallowing in self-recrimination.
As Abner and Grandpappy argue about who's to blame, nearly coming to blows with a chair, Lum arrives and reveals the full extent of the damage. Mose Moots has been reduced to a henpecked husband, forbidden from attending lodge meetings and forced to do all the household chores for the next two years just to keep his wife from leaving. With his business partner and the entire community angry at him, Abner desperately searches for ways to patch things up and restore peace to Pine Ridge.

Originally Aired: April 18, 1938
Lum #22, "Trouble Because of Abner," finds the partners facing the consequences of Abner's questionable business scheme for their Lonesome Hearts Matrimonial Bureau. With only female clients writing in and no male prospects to offer, Abner had the bright idea of purchasing photographs of prominent Pine Ridge men from Grandpappy's new photography business and sending them out to lonely women without the men's knowledge or permission. Now those unsuspecting bachelors, including Ezra Scrunks and barber Mose Moots, are receiving mysterious love letters from women they've never met and have no idea how these strangers obtained their names and addresses.
The episode opens with Lum and Abner enjoying a peaceful spring day on the store's front porch, lazily discussing the beauty of their mountain town and the previous day's Easter celebration. Their tranquil conversation is interrupted when Grandpappy arrives with troubling news about the responses coming in. While some men like Mose are flattered by the unexpected female attention, others are growing suspicious about the source of these letters, and the secret scheme threatens to unravel.

Originally Aired: April 15, 1938
Lum #21, "Lum Doesn't Know of Photos,"
With the matrimonial bureau receiving far more female clients than male applicants, Abner grows desperate to keep the women customers interested. Without enough legitimate photographs of men to send out, he concocts a scheme behind Lum's back: having Grandpappy Spears secretly photograph local Pine Ridge bachelors like Dick Carterson and Mose Moots, then mailing their pictures to prospective brides without their knowledge. Abner insists this scheme is harmless and necessary to keep the business afloat while they wait for more male clients to register.
As Abner and Grandpappy review the photographs at the Jot 'em Down store, they mock the few legitimate male applicants who have submitted their own pictures, including one particularly unfortunate-looking fellow whose buggy eyes and protruding ears make them howl with laughter. Abner keeps his sneaky picture-sending operation hidden from Lum, wanting to take full credit for saving the business once his partner discovers how successful the idea has become. When Lum arrives with the mail, Abner and Grandpappy must keep their conspiracy under wraps.

Originally Aired: April 13, 1938
Lum #20, "Abner Sends out Photos,"
Lum and Abner's matrimonial bureau hits a serious snag when they discover all their correspondence is coming from women seeking husbands, but they have no pictures of eligible men to send in response. The only photographs they've been distributing are of Lum himself, taken from a ten-year-old picture, and now even he has decided he's not interested in matrimony. When Lum returns from the county seat with fancy new printed forms for matching couples, Abner points out the obvious problem: they need more male candidates or risk losing their female customers entirely.
The situation becomes more complicated when they receive a scathing letter from Paula Reimer of Springfield, Missouri, who is distinctly unimpressed with Lum's photograph despite being told he's a millionaire who drives a big car. Her sharp-tongued rejection gets under Lum's skin, prompting a defensive reaction that suggests she's hit a nerve. In desperation, the partners turn to young Cedric, asking if he has any photographs they could use, only to discover he's saving himself for Clarabelle and his only pictures are baby photos.

Originally Aired: April 11, 1938
Lum #19, "Benefits of Being Married," the Lonesome Hearts Matrimonial Bureau is off to a flying start, but an unexpected complication arises when Lum himself catches matrimony fever. After writing newspaper advertisements extolling the virtues of married life, the lifelong bachelor becomes so convinced by his own sales pitch that he starts sending his picture out to female customers. When Grandpappy Spears stops by the Jot 'Em Down Store offering to take professional photographs with his new camera, Abner reveals Lum's true intentions, much to Lum's embarrassment.
As the men gather in the store nursing cases of spring fever, Dick Huddleston and Grandpap enthusiastically encourage Lum's marital aspirations, painting an idyllic picture of domestic life where a man remains head of the household and can still do as he pleases. Their rosy descriptions seem to be winning Lum over, despite his admitted nervousness about giving up his independent bachelor ways. The conversation takes an ironic turn when Dick is summoned back to his own store by his decidedly unhappy wife, providing a stark contrast to the glowing testimonials about married bliss.

Originally Aired: April 8, 1938
Lum #18, "Lum Wants to Get Married,"
Lum and Abner's Lonesome Heart Matrimonial Bureau is officially open for business after placing newspaper advertisements throughout the surrounding territory. When Lum returns from the post office with their first letters from prospective customers, the partners are excited about the potential fifty-dollar profit from each successful match. However, things get complicated when Lum announces his intention to find a wife for himself through their own bureau, insisting he won't pay the company's twenty-five dollar fee if he does marry.
As Abner handles phone inquiries from Sister Simpson, an eager local woman seeking a husband, Lum eagerly opens their first letters. While the partners initially dismiss one applicant who seems more interested in paying off her farm mortgage than finding love, their attention turns to Roberta Brandenburg from Gilgore, Texas. When Lum sees her picture, he's immediately smitten with the beautiful manicurist who owns her own beauty salon, sparking his interest in ways that have nothing to do with the matrimonial bureau's profit margins.

Originally Aired: April 6, 1938
Lum #17, "Lum Composes Newspaper Ad,"
After managing to collect only $18 from overdue accounts at the Jot'em Down Store, Lum conceives a new scheme to make money. Rather than using the modest sum to restock merchandise as his partner Abner suggests, Lum decides to open a matrimonial bureau in Pine Ridge. A reluctant Abner initially resists the idea, preferring to invest their money back into the store, but Lum eventually wins him over by painting a rosy picture of helping lonely hearts find companionship and by offering to make Abner president of the new venture.
As Lum composes their first newspaper advertisement, the differences between the partners become clear. Lum's flowery ad promises women they can marry men of wealth and position who will shower them with diamonds and pearls, while Abner worries the exaggerated claims will cause trouble. The conversation takes a humorous turn when Lum tries to explain Cupid to the confused Abner, who thinks the love-inducing cherubs sound more like mosquitoes or Indians and threatens to swat any that shoot arrows at him.

Originally Aired: April 4, 1938
Lum #16, "Matrimonial Bureau Reopens,"
Lum and Abner find themselves in desperate financial straits as their Jot 'Em Down Store struggles to survive. With depleted inventory and mounting debts, the partners face a vicious cycle: they need cash to restock, but customers need credit to buy. When Dick Huddleston stops by the store, he advises Abner to enforce their long-ignored "Strictly Cash, No Credit" policy, but both men know it's nearly impossible to turn away neighbors they've known all their lives. Lum returns from a grueling day of collections having secured only eighteen dollars from Grandpa Masters, barely enough to make a dent in their wholesale orders.
As the partners contemplate their dire situation, Lum's mind wanders to get-rich-quick schemes. He mentions reading about sweepstake tickets that turn a mere four or five dollar investment into winnings of a hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Despite their agreement to focus on the store, the temptation of easy money proves difficult to resist for two desperate shopkeepers looking for any way out of their predicament.

Originally Aired: April 1, 1938
Lum #15, "April Fool's Day Jokes,"
Lum and Abner are back to running their Jot 'Em Down Store after a period of outside interests has left their merchandise stock seriously depleted. While Lum is out trying to collect overdue accounts, Abner struggles through an exasperating phone call with Wither, who wants to order items the store doesn't have in stock. When Granny stops by with a box of homemade candy, Abner nearly falls for her April Fool's prank, as she's filled the chocolates with soap to trick unsuspecting victims down at the barber shop.
Meanwhile, Lum returns limping after becoming the victim of a classic April Fool's Day trick himself, having kicked a paper sack in the road that someone filled with a rock. The partners commiserate over being caught by the pranks, with Lum dismissing such games as childish. However, when Grandpa offers to share his candy, Abner nearly takes a piece before being warned about the soap filling, much to everyone's amusement as the April foolishness continues throughout Pine Ridge.