Lum & Abner: Classic Small-Town Comedy

More Mail for the Matrimonial Bureau

Originally Aired: February 5, 1935
More Mail for the Matrimonial Bureau: Bears, Flashlights, and Broken Hearts
In this hilarious and heartwarming episode of Lum and Abner, the folks of Pine Ridge find themselves swamped—not with flashlight orders, but with letters seeking love advice from their recently launched "Matrimonial Bureau." While Lum is anxiously waiting for a flood of mail requesting the aluminum flashlights they're giving away with Horlicks wrappers, most of the letters are addressed to their matchmaking service instead.
One letter from Muncie, Indiana, stands out: it describes the troubled relationship of two bears—yes, bears—named Susan and Mickey, who live in McCullough Park and are no longer getting along. Lum and Abner approach the problem with their usual earnest humor, theorizing about bear hibernation, marital snoring, and nighttime prowling.
Meanwhile, Cedric Weehunt drops by with the day's mail (a disappointing six letters) and news that he’s patched things up with his sweetheart, Gertrude Seastrump. Inspired, Abner tries to boost flashlight orders with his own heartfelt party-line speech, declaring that if people don’t send in their Horlicks wrappers, “we’re ruined!”
A perfect blend of old-time radio charm, comedy, and down-home ingenuity, this episode showcases the duo’s lovable optimism—even as their big flashlight promotion seems to fizzle.
Keywords: "Lum and Abner Matrimonial Bureau," "Horlicks flashlight promotion," "February 1935 radio comedy," "Susan and Mickey the bears," "Cedric Weehunt Gertrude Seastrump," "Pine Ridge party line humor," "classic Lum and Abner episodes."
Cast: Chester Lauck (Lum), Norris Goff (Abner), with supporting voices likely including Clarence Hartzell (Cedric) and Carlton Brickert (announcer).

Flashlight Frenzy: Horlick’s Bright Idea

Originally Aired: February 4, 1935
Flashlight Frenzy: Horlick’s Bright Idea:
In this charming and promotional episode of Lum and Abner, the lovable duo find themselves caught up in another get-rich-quick scheme—this time involving pocket flashlights. Desperate to raise funds to reopen their beloved Jot-Em-Down store, Lum and Abner strike a deal with the Horlick’s Malted Milk Company to offer aluminum flashlights as a free premium to customers.
After sending Mr. Horlick a sample flashlight and a hopeful letter, the boys receive a swift and enthusiastic reply: Horlick’s will include a flashlight with every mailed-in wrapper of their malted milk powder. Lum is elated and immediately takes to the Pine Ridge party line to announce the exciting giveaway, encouraging everyone—men, women, and children—to write in for one.
Meanwhile, Abner continues the charade of having both arms broken from a staged car accident, hilariously demanding help with everything from lighting his pipe to removing his hat. Their slapstick interactions are matched by genuine enthusiasm for their flashlight promotion, which they hope will bring in enough orders to finally stock the store again.
Full of homespun humor, heart, and just a bit of hucksterism, this episode reflects the enduring charm of Pine Ridge and the friendship that keeps Lum and Abner’s misadventures always worth tuning in for.
Keywords: "Lum and Abner Horlicks flashlight episode," "February 1935 Lum and Abner radio," "Jot-Em-Down store scheme," "Horlicks Malted Milk giveaway," "Pine Ridge flashlight promotion," "classic radio comedy duo," "Lum and Abner party line announcement."
Cast: Chester Lauck (Lum), Norris Goff (Abner), with supporting characters including Dick Huddleston.

Financing the Reopening of the Jot ‘Em Down Store: A Risky Investment

Originally Aired: February 1, 1935
Financing the Reopening of the Jot ‘Em Down Store: A Risky Investment
With all the mishaps of the Pine Ridge Matrimonial Bureau behind them, Lum and Abner have set their sights on reopening their beloved Jot ‘Em Down Store. The only problem? They’re completely broke.
Determined to get their store back up and running, Lum devises a grand financial plan—convincing investors to loan them the money to start fresh. But Abner is skeptical—who in Pine Ridge would actually trust them with money after all their past business disasters?
As they brainstorm ways to raise the funds, their luck takes a surprising turn when an unexpected source offers to finance their comeback. But is this too good to be true? Or have Lum and Abner finally caught a break?
Keywords:
"Lum and Abner reopen store," "Jot ‘Em Down Store business plan," "Classic radio comedy 1935," "Old Time Radio small-town business," "Pine Ridge financial troubles," "Lum and Abner money-making scheme," "Vintage radio sitcom episode"
Cast:
Chester Lauck (Lum Edwards), Norris Goff (Abner Peabody)

Abner in Bed with Two Broken Arms: A Price for Trouble

Originally Aired: January 31, 1935
Abner in Bed with Two Broken Arms: A Price for Trouble
Abner Peabody has finally paid the price for all the chaos surrounding Hortense Kelly—and it wasn’t cheap. After days of dodging trouble, facing Lizabeth’s wrath, and getting tangled in a love scandal, Abner now finds himself stuck in bed with both arms broken!
As Lum stops by to check on his old partner, he struggles to hold back his laughter and disbelief at how Abner managed to get himself into such a ridiculous predicament. Meanwhile, Lizabeth isn’t exactly feeling sympathetic—if anything, she’s enjoying the fact that Abner is finally in no position to argue with her!
With Abner unable to do anything for himself, Lum starts to realize that this might be the only time in history that Abner will actually listen to reason. But will Abner learn anything from this painful lesson, or is he already plotting his next scheme to get back at Lum?
Keywords:
"Lum and Abner broken arms episode," "Abner Peabody in bed injured," "Classic radio comedy 1935," "Old Time Radio small-town humor," "Pine Ridge matrimonial disaster," "Lum and Abner slapstick injury," "Vintage radio sitcom episode"
Cast:
Chester Lauck (Lum Edwards), Norris Goff (Abner Peabody), Lizabeth Peabody

Lizabeth’s Jealousy: Abner Caught in a Scandal

Originally Aired: January 30, 1935
Lizabeth Thinks Abner is Having an Affair with Hortense: Trouble at Home
The Hortense disaster has reached its peak—just as Abner thought he was in the clear, Lizabeth gets wind of the whole affair! Now, Abner finds himself in hot water at home, as Lizabeth is convinced that her dear husband has been carrying on a secret romance behind her back.
Desperate to explain the situation, Abner tries to tell her it was all Lum’s fault, but Lizabeth isn’t having any of it. Meanwhile, Lum is enjoying the chaos—until he realizes that if Lizabeth doesn’t forgive Abner, the whole matrimonial bureau scheme could fall apart!
As gossip spreads like wildfire through Pine Ridge, Abner scrambles to prove his innocence. But with Sister Simpson and the town’s biggest talkers fueling the rumors, will he ever convince Lizabeth that he’s not running off with Hortense?
Keywords:
"Lum and Abner Hortense affair," "Lizabeth suspects Abner," "Classic radio comedy 1935," "Old Time Radio small-town gossip," "Pine Ridge matrimonial scandal," "Vintage radio humor," "Lum and Abner mistaken romance"
Cast:
Chester Lauck (Lum Edwards), Norris Goff (Abner Peabody), Lizabeth Peabody, Sister Simpson

Abner Goes to the Railroad Depot to Meet Hortense: A Nervous Wreck

Originally Aired: January 25, 1935
Abner Goes to the Railroad Depot to Meet Hortense: A Nervous Wreck
The moment of truth has arrived—Hortense Kelly is on her way to Pine Ridge, and Abner has no choice but to meet her at the train depot! After days of panic and trying to find a way out of this mess, Abner, reluctantly dressed in his Sunday best, makes his way to the station, hoping against hope that Hortense won’t recognize him.
Meanwhile, Lum is enjoying every minute of Abner’s misery, reminding him that this is what happens when you send out your picture to every single woman looking for a husband. But the fun stops when Dick Huddleston arrives with shocking news—Hortense isn’t traveling alone. She’s bringing her entire family with her, and they’re all expecting a wedding!
With the train pulling in and no way to escape, Abner braces for the biggest disaster of his life. Will he go through with meeting Hortense, or will he make a run for it before it’s too late?
Keywords:
"Lum and Abner train depot mix-up," "Abner Peabody meets Hortense," "Classic radio comedy 1935," "Old Time Radio romance humor," "Pine Ridge matchmaking disaster," "Small-town humor," "Vintage radio mistaken identity"
Cast:
Chester Lauck (Lum Edwards), Norris Goff (Abner Peabody), Dick Huddleston

Abner Receives Telegram from Hortense: A Bride on the Way

Originally Aired: January 24, 1935
Abner Receives Telegram from Hortense: A Bride on the Way
Abner’s worst fears have come true—Miss Hortense Kelly, the woman who fell in love with him after receiving his picture, is on her way to Pine Ridge! After days of worrying about whether she’d actually follow through on her promise to visit, Abner receives a telegram that confirms the nightmare:
📜 “Darling, I will arrive tomorrow. Can't hardly wait to see you. Love, Hortense.”
Now in full-blown panic mode, Abner demands that Lum fix this mess before Elizabeth finds out. Lum suggests writing Hortense a letter to explain the mistake, but before they can send it, Dick Huddleston arrives with the fateful telegram—it’s too late. Hortense is already on her way!
With Elizabeth still out of town and the town’s gossips ready to spread the news, Abner is convinced he’s about to become an accidental bigamist. Will he be able to escape this matrimonial disaster before it’s too late?
Keywords:
"Lum and Abner Hortense telegram," "Pine Ridge matrimonial mishap," "Classic radio comedy 1935," "Old Time Radio romance humor," "Abner Peabody mistaken identity," "Small-town matchmaking gone wrong," "Vintage radio humor"
Cast:
Chester Lauck (Lum Edwards), Norris Goff (Abner Peabody), Dick Huddleston

Matrimonial Bureau to Move into Store: Business is Booming

Originally Aired: January 23, 1935
Matrimonial Bureau to Move into Store: Business is Booming
The Pine Ridge Matrimonial Bureau is growing faster than Lum and Abner ever expected, and their small operation in Lum’s house can’t keep up with demand. With hundreds of letters arriving daily, they decide it’s time to expand into the Jot ‘Em Down Store, turning it into the official headquarters for matchmaking in Pine Ridge!
Excited about their new office, Lum spends the day painting a sign for the business, complete with a very muscular-looking Cupid and some questionably placed lovebirds. Meanwhile, Abner is less concerned with decoration and more worried about where they’ll get the money to keep the bureau running—especially since their only source of income is free board from Sister Simpson, who’s still waiting for them to find her a husband.
But things take a hilarious turn when Dick Huddleston delivers a stack of letters addressed directly to Abner. To his horror, he realizes that the Matrimonial Bureau has been sending out his picture to potential brides all over the country! Even worse, one woman has fallen in love at first sight and is on her way to Pine Ridge to marry him. Will Abner be able to explain the mix-up before Elizabeth finds out?
Keywords:
"Lum and Abner matrimonial bureau," "Pine Ridge matchmaking business," "Classic radio comedy 1935," "Old Time Radio romance humor," "Abner Peabody mistaken identity," "Small-town humor," "Vintage radio matchmaking mishap"
Cast:
Chester Lauck (Lum Edwards), Norris Goff (Abner Peabody), Dick Huddleston

Reading Matrimonial Bureau Mail: Love Letters & Laughs

Originally Aired: January 22, 1935
Reading Matrimonial Bureau Mail: Love Letters & Laughs
The Pine Ridge Matrimonial Bureau is busier than ever, and Lum and Abner can barely keep up with the mountain of letters from hopeful romantics across the country. From lonely hearts searching for a spouse to bizarre domestic disputes, the old fellows attempt to tackle each case with their unique brand of small-town wisdom and humor.
Among the letters:📜 A man desperate to catch the attention of a mysterious woman who passes by his house every day—but she never speaks!📜 A frustrated wife trying to figure out how to make her husband move from behind the stove so she can sweep the floor.📜 A concerned woman whose husband gestures wildly with his hands while driving, making every car ride a terrifying experience.
As Lum and Abner sort through these quirky dilemmas, Abner starts to get suspicious—why does one of the letters contain a photo of himself? Could it be that Abner Peabody is unknowingly becoming the face of the bureau’s matchmaking efforts?
Keywords:
"Lum and Abner matrimonial bureau," "Pine Ridge matchmaking service," "Old Time Radio comedy," "Classic radio humor 1935," "Vintage romance advice," "Small-town humor and wisdom," "Abner Peabody matchmaking mishap"
Cast:
Chester Lauck (Lum Edwards), Norris Goff (Abner Peabody)

Matrimonial Bureau Swamped by Mail: A Love-Filled Frenzy

Originally Aired: January 21, 1935
Matrimonial Bureau Swamped by Mail: A Love-Filled Frenzy
The Pine Ridge Matrimonial Bureau has taken off in ways Lum and Abner never imagined! After making an announcement over the party line, letters from hopeful romantics all over the country start pouring in. Women are eager to find a husband, men are seeking advice on love, and domestic disputes are thrown in for good measure.
As Lum and Abner sift through the stacks of letters, they hilariously attempt to solve marriage problems—including how to get a stubborn husband to stop sitting behind the stove all day. Meanwhile, Abner is shocked when he finds his own photograph included in a batch of potential suitors. Lum sees an opportunity—why not send Abner’s picture to all the single women to keep them interested while they search for real matches?
Will Abner unknowingly become Pine Ridge’s most eligible bachelor? Or will this scheme backfire in the most unexpected way?
Keywords:
"Lum and Abner matrimonial bureau," "Pine Ridge matchmaking service," "Vintage radio romance comedy," "Old Time Radio domestic advice," "Classic radio humor 1935," "Marriage problems and solutions," "Abner Peabody romance mix-up"
Cast:
Chester Lauck (Lum Edwards), Norris Goff (Abner Peabody)